Hello!! I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I just haven’t felt like writing of late.
Week 13 I struggled a fair bit. I didn’t feel great and I could not eat all my smart points. It was extremely frustrating. I ended up losing 300 grams (0.66lbs). I was not happy about it and I told my leader that I just couldn’t eat all the points and she told me to up my protein. Which just seems ludicrous when I am full on what I was already eating.
That week’s meeting was about moving more. So I decided that I was going to move more last week. I pulled out my Wii that I haven’t touched since I moved back into my house in 2012. I set it all up and my niece and I played. I did a fair bit (not every day as I was hurting haha). But I was happy with it. Again, I was struggling with my eating. It was my mother’s birthday during that week so I had take away twice – a special birthday breakfast in the morning and then a special birthday dinner in the night. I got her a Skinny Cow sundae in lieu of a cake and it wasn’t til later I found out that it was 7 sp for that!!! I was not impressed as I didn’t like it enough to spend that many points on a dessert (i never eat dessert).
During the week I was sporadically weighing myself to see how I was doing and on Thursday I was the same weight I had been all week long – which was higher than my weight last week. I was gutted. I was ready to quit WW as I had only had one naughty day and I had not gone over my points any other day. I felt pressure – maybe it was anxiety … I am not really able to identify anxiety as I have not thought of it very much. But I felt so much pressure about having to go to the meeting and weigh in. It was a horrible horrible feeling. I decided on Wednesday that I was not going to the Thursday meeting anymore. Truth be told, I hate that meeting. The woman there are so much older than me, they all sit in a group together and they are all life time members. They would talk amongst themselves through out the whole meeting and it was hard to hear the leader. There were only maybe four of us who had to actually lose weight. I decided to go to the friday meeting. As soon as I walked in, I felt a difference in the mood in the room.. It was good. I also remembered suddenly that I used to go to the friday meeting after a long time of attending the Thursday meeting and way back then, I also thought that the Friday meeting was the best. I was so glad I made the switch. A lady was talking to me and I mentioned I had been going to the thursday meeting and she gave me a look – she knew exactly why I stopped going there. That made me happy.
I gained 900 grams (1.98lbs) last week!! My first gain in 14 weeks. I was really upset, even though I knew I was going to gain – my home scales didn’t register a gain that big. Again I spoke with my leader and told her I was reallllly struggling. I told her what I ate in a day and she tried to give me some advice. She did tell me I am a coach’s worst nightmare because of all the food I hate. It was quite funny. I agreed with her. I know I am difficult when it comes to food. I told her that I hate food – some days I really do wish we didn’t have to eat if we didn’t want to. But she dropped my points for me (four points) and told me I HAVE to eat those – she wouldn’t drop them any further.
I have been trying so so hard to get the points eaten and two out of the last three days I have been successful!! I am so happy with myself. I didn’t get there yesterday because I missed breakfast. I had a HUGE lunch and a good dinner, but I still had about 15 left over. Sigh. But that’s ok. If I can eat my points for the next four days – that should be good.
I decided to weigh myself on the scales today to see if my weight is going down at all….. I was determined not to let it bother me, either way. The scale said the exact same figure it did ALL last week. I thought that was just too weird so I just weighed my foot to make it change to a different number. Then I stood on it again and it was less! (Yay) I then weighed my foot again to change the number and I stood on it again – it was less again (less than it was the second time I stood on it – so I got three different weights!!) I am a bit annoyed. I hope my scale is not broken. It isn’t that old. I only changed the battery a little while ago too. grr. I won’t weigh myself again this week (or I will try not to!!) I will just trust the process.
I still am not sure I will continue at WW when I finish my three months. I do like it a lot, but I don’t think it is worth the money anymore. Not the meetings anyway – they are only 15 minutes long and just like nothing before. I guess I keep comparing it to how it was years ago when I used to go. I do like the app though. We’ll see what I think in a couple of months. I am in a bit of a gloomy place right now – let’s hope this coming weigh in is much nicer!!
I just realised I have written a short novel.
Until next time
Lose it Em