Decisions

I have been thinking long and hard for a while now – I normally come up with the answer “NO!” but this time I have decided “yes”. I am going to join back up at Weight Watchers and start going to the meetings.

I feel as though I need them right now. I was doing really well, but lately I have fallen a bit off the wagon, without too much damage…  but still, I am finding it hard to stay focused. I want to stay focused, so I am going to go to the meetings and I know that will give me the motivation I need.

I have been going ten weeks and I am proud of how far I have come in that amount of time.

It’s been really hot here lately. It has also been really cold. It is confusing. I was worried I was going to get sick. One day I was boiling hot and the next I was freezing, wearing a jumper! Crazy.

I have noticed I get more motivated when it is cooler. When it is raining or overcast I am happy. I am more likely to do a bunch of cooking when it’s cooler.

So my meetings are on Thursday. I could go to one tomorrow, but I am going to the one that I used to go to many moons ago. The leader is that same – which worries me… Mainly because she knows me and she knows my family. She doesn’t know, however, that my sister has passed away and I am not sure I can tell her. Mainly because I don’t want to cry in front of a bunch of strangers and I don’t know how she would react. She might even cry. She knew my sister well (she once told me I was like a sister to her, so she is completely lovely). I don’t know… I feel quite anxious about that… I can’t think about it too much or I will not go to the meeting. That leader is a leader for a lot of the meetings around my area. She is good at her job and everyone who meets her, loves her. I am also anxious to see her as  I am so much heavier now than I was when I last saw her. But… life happens I guess.

One thing about having to tell someone that a mutual person you know has died is their reaction.. With my sister I didn’t tell many people (face to face) because I really hated seeing their reactions and I felt like I had to console them. It really irritated me. For example – my mum, niece and I went out the front to get in the car one day a few years ago and the mower man was here. We rarely talk to him – just let him get on with his job. My sister used to talk to him a lot as he also did her yard a long time ago. Anyway – something was said and my mum mentioned that my sister had died and he kind of stumbled backwards and was obviously shocked beyond belief… and all I wanted to do was hit him. The same with my neighbour. My mum told her and she was holding back tears. It just made me mad. I clearly have a lot of issues. haha. That’s why I am worried about my old leader. Who knows, she may not ask about the family (who am I kidding, she totally will!!!) I could lie and say everyone is well. I won’t. But it is tempting.

I will report back on Thursday and say how it went.
Until next time,
Lose it Em

ps – I have not been eating well half this week. Boo hiss. Stupid take away food.

 

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4 thoughts on “Decisions

    1. Ww is the only “diet” I’ve done so I don’t understand calories at all but I understand points. I do enjoy it. Going to the meetings is good to keep me on track. I used to leave a meeting each week feeling ready to conquer the world. I lost a lot of weight when I last went, so I know it works for me. I am loosely following it now anyway, but I just want the meetings again.

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  1. Life... At Any Size

    Good luck! I just ended my online subscription for financial reasons, but I really do like their program and have had success in the past. Maybe you could reach out to the WW leader before your meeting next week and talk to her privately either in person or in an email? You have every right to ask her not bring it up at the meeting if you don’t want to talk about it.

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    1. Thank you. It’s a shame you had to end your subscription. It certainly isn’t cheap though.
      I didn’t think my leader would bring it up at the meeting. I was just concerned about talking to her before the meeting started. 😊

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